The Atheist Blogger » humour

Stuck to My Seat

Adrian Hayter — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 23:00:20 +0000

Last night, Derren Brown promised to show a subliminal film that would glue a lot of us to our seats; we would literally not be able to get up. A lot of people watched, and over 500,000 of us were “stuck”, myself included. My friends Florian and Laura were watching with me, but after the film ended they were able to stand up without any problems. I found myself suddenly incapable of doing so.

There were a lot of cries of “you’re joking!” and “stop messing us around”, which slowly but surely turned into gasps of shock and horror as they realised that I really couldn’t stand up. The best I could do was get a few cm of the chair by pushing up with my hands, but my legs simply refused to support me. It was a weird feeling, but as I watched the subliminal clip, I felt my legs getting heavier and heavier. By the end, I could hardly feel them at all, and as I tried to get up, they turned to jelly and all the energy went out of me.

My friend filmed the event laughing at my futile efforts to lift myself. If it’s not too embarrassing I’ll upload it to YouTube sometime this week for you to watch. Next week, Derren has promised to turn us into “psychic spies”, which will be very interesting. When Florian and I viewed the subliminal film again today, nothing happened to either of us, and I reckon the subliminal messages are shown through the entire episode instead of the small film that was meant to do the job. Derren is all about misdirection after all!

Update: Here is a picture of my friend (and fellow atheist) Robert Heywood (@rjheywood) stuck to his seat:

Witchcraft, suggestion, or laziness? You decide.

Possibly Related Posts:

YouTube Thursday – Faith, Derren Brown, & Bibleman

Adrian Hayter — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 23:08:33 +0000

The main video event this week was dprjones‘ 24 hour blogtv charity drive in aid of Doctors without Borders. The target amount to raise was $10,000 and this was quickly surpassed during the show and reached a final total of $18,761.92. The combination of this total and the amount brought in by the eBay auctions reached over $32,000. Congratulations to dprjones and all his co-hosts for putting on a great show and for raising so much for a great charity!

The first video I want to share is a new one from QualiaSoup, and fans of his videos will know that he always manages to convey complex ideas across in an easy to understand manner. His latest video on “Putting faith in its place” is no exception.

Some of you are probably still trying to figure out how Derren Brown actually managed to predict the lottery, so here is a video laced with helpful hints and annotations (go to the YouTube site to view the annotations).

Finally, I’m not sure how many people will be able to view this due to “copyright restrictions” but here is a clip from a TV show making fun of an American Christian superhero show called “Bibleman”. It really is quite bizarre, and if you want to see more, I suggest searching for “Bibleman” at YouTube; there are plenty of videos to watch!

Possibly Related Posts:

How to Predict the National Lottery

Adrian Hayter — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 23:00:36 +0000

: Image via Wikipedia

Last Wednesday, Derren Brown amazed the nation by predicting the National Lottery. On Friday night, he promised to reveal how to do the trick, and this resulted in an hour long show that demonstrated some nice mental gymnastics, but no real answer. He started by stating that there were three (main) ways of predicting the National Lottery:

Faking a ticket.
Predicting the outcome of the machine.
Fixing the machine.

Option 1 wasn’t really an option for him, since it involved breaking the law and wasn’t really predicting anything. Option 2 was of more interest, and the rest of the show was devoted to this, explaining about various mathematical tricks you can do, and finally came to the “wisdom of crowds” technique.

Derren explained that a mathematician observed a “guess the weight of the ox” game at a country fair, and although nobody got the answer spot on, if you took the average of the answers given by the crowd, you got the exact weight. He said the same technique could be used to predict the lottery, and showed a film of 24 individuals studying the numbers of the last 100 lotteries, and trying to figure out what the next numbers would be. On the first attempt, they got 1 correct, on the second, when they did automatic writing and were allowed to write down negative numbers and numbers higher than 49 (the highest number in the lottery), they got 4 out of 6. Derren claimed that on the last go (a few minutes before his lottery prediction on Wednesday), they gave him the numbers that would eventually end up on the podium next to him; his prediction.

Of course, none of that makes any sense, and it doesn’t surprise me. Predicting the lottery is impossible if you are trying to guess some kind of pattern to the numbers. The reason why “wisdom of crowds” worked for the ox is because everyone could see the ox, and in guessing its weight you will have people who go too high and people who go too low, the average of all these values will be a good estimate for the weight. The same just doesn’t apply to random lottery balls; it doesn’t matter if a group of 24 people come up with “2″ as an answer, the machine will pick balls at random, and in a random machine every ball has an equal chance of coming out.

So how did he do it? People who want to believe his explanation will think that, the more rational will come up with other methods he could have used. The one that seems most likely is the theory that he simply used a split-screen and some very clever live video editing. The evidence that backs this theory up is the apparent sudden movement of one of the end balls in the stand (caused by the split-screen syncing back to a single-screen view), and the fact that Derren didn’t reveal his prediction before the actual draw. His reason for not doing this is that the BBC had a legal right to announce the result before anyone else, but the only problem with that logic is that he wasn’t announcing the result, he was announcing his prediction. Even in the “behind the scenes” footage that he aired with his show on Friday, you only see him select the balls out of the box, not the actual balls themselves.

As for option 3, in the true spirit of a showman, Derren took to the stage in the last 5 minutes of his Friday show, and told everyone how he *could* have done it by fixing the machines; simply make 12 sets of weighted balls, sneak into the high security area where the machines are used, and replace the regular balls with the weighted ones. His story was illustrated by blurred out pictures on the wall behind him, which gave everyone a laugh, and reminded everyone that this was Derren Brown; a man who does not reveal his secrets even if he says he will.

This Friday, Derren has promised to reveal a tape that will literally “glue us to our seats” in a show he has called “How to Control the Nation“. I’ll be sat with my laptop so I can tweet the event and see whether I get “stuck” as Derren says I will.

Possibly Related Posts:

Carnival of the Godless #124

Adrian Hayter — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 15:37:27 +0000

The latest Carnival of the Godless is up at Radical Atheist, so go check it out! It’s a great carnival, and has two great reviews of the new book “The evolution of God” which were very informative.

Remember to submit something to the next carnival, or put your own blog forward for the prestigious job of hosting the carnival!

As a side note, I’ve been meaning to update this blog a lot more often, but every time I’ve sat down to write a post, something else has barged in the way, whether it be important emails I have to answer, work that has to be done, or (most recently) a breach of my PayPal account which almost cost me $300 I don’t have. Nevertheless, I’m finally emerging from the flow of “more-important-than-blogging” things, and there will be a few articles up this week on my adventures in Egypt, and my delving into Astrology!

Given that Twitter is a far better (and quicker) way of getting my thoughts out, if you miss me you can always follow my thoughts there. My account is @ah8r.

Possibly Related Posts:

The Atheist Alphabet Meme

Adrian Hayter — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:26:45 +0000

Here’s a fun meme I thought up late last night. For each letter of the alphabet, choose an atheist blog or atheist related website that begins with that letter and link to it. To make things easier, you can remove preceding articles such as ‘a’ or ‘the’ to unlock more letters. For instance, this website “The Atheist Blogger” could be used for both the letter ‘T’ and ‘A’. Converting numbers to their word forms is also acceptable.

If you can’t think of any sites, have a perusal of the Atheist Blogroll, and if you really can’t find a website with the starting letter (gold star goes to anyone finding a website starting with X), choose an interesting word from the dictionary and list it with its definition. Try to be imaginative! Remember, this is a great chance to discover blogs you may have not heard of before, so don’t feel that you have to put blogs in the meme that you read regularly!

Finally, link back to the blog who sent you this meme, and tag 5 other blogs.

About Agnosticism / Atheism
Bay of Fundie
CyberLizard’s Collection
Deep Thoughts
ExChristian.net
Friendly Atheist
God is Pretend
Happy Jihad’s House of Pancakes
The Invisible Pink Unicorn
Jewish Atheist
Kill The Afterlife
Life Without Faith
Moiz Khan
nullifidian
Oz Atheist’s Weblog
Pharyngula
Quiet Atheist
Radical Atheist
Sean the Blogonaut
toomanytribbles
Unreasonable Faith
The View from the Pond
Why Don’t You Blog?
xylomancy – divination by means of pieces of burning wood (lol)
You Made Me Say It!
ZackFord Blogs

For tagging, I choose: Friendly Atheist, Unreasonable Faith, CyberLizard’s Collection, and before you think I’m just spelling out naughty words, Life Without Faith & Sean the Blogonaut

http://www.quietatheist.com/

Possibly Related Posts:

YouTube Thursday – Mr. Deity, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Richard Wiseman

Adrian Hayter — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 22:00:57 +0000

The internet was screwy yesterday so I didn’t get to make this post, but this morning we got 50MB internet in the house, which is amazing! So anyway, here are the videos I meant to post yesterday but didn’t:

Mr .Deity is a hilarious series of shorts that gradually but effectively tear apart Christianity and the Bible. This one (from series 3) deals with the contradictions in the Bible such as the virgin birth, and the multiple genealogies of Jesus.

Second up is a great explanation from Neil deGrasse Tyson about why the world will not end in 2012…or any other year in the recent future for that matter.

Finally, a video by Richard Wiseman explaining a quick personality test to do right in fron of your computer. Richard Wiseman is a celebrated psychologist who performed a test of psychic power over Twitter about a month back. You can follow him on Twitter as well as read his blog!

Possibly Related Posts:

Church of the Smashing Orangey Bit Responds to Atheist & Christian Billboards

Adrian Hayter — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 23:01:03 +0000

Christians have recently begun putting billboards up claiming that the separation of church and state is not what the Founding Fathers wanted for America. This is actually quite true, since it is a well established fact in the Church of the Smashing Orangey Bit that both George Washington & Thomas Jefferson were devout Jaffalots. Far from wanting a separation of church and state, the Founding Fathers wanted a joining of the “state and cake” to honour McVities forever.

However, fundamentalist Christians stormed the proceedings, rewriting the constitution, and sending back all the Jaffa Cakes to England. This event is now known as the Boston Tea Party, because it was yet again covered up by Christian fundamentalists. By telling the population that the boxes contained tea, they tricked everyone into a riot, until no Jaffa Cakes remained and the snack was forgotten.

In retribution for this terrible event, the Church of the Smashing Orangey Bit has decided to put up our own billboards to counter the atheist and Christian versions. People may have forgotten the joining of state and cake, they may have forgotten Jaffa Cakes, but they will not forget McVities!

Thou shalt not eat Communion wafers.

Follow church updates on Twitter, and help stop this oppression of history!

Possibly Related Posts:

The Abrahamic God

Adrian Hayter — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 22:00:56 +0000

Series 3 of “That Mitchell and Webb Look” is definitely more anti-religious and atheistic than previous seasons. Last week I blogged about two sketches they’d done; one mocking the religious’ ability to spot godly messages in pieces of toast, and the other a blatant criticism of the unscientific nature and sheer mystic nature of Homeopathy. This week, they made a great attack on the god of the Old Testament:

My favourite bit? When Abraham says…

If I thought it was wrong?!? Like I’d know! Like I have any chance of forming an independent basis of right and wrong outside the instructions of some supervisory being! No Lord, I am your bitch!

A very good summation of the position the God of the Old Testament plays in the Bible I thought. I mean here is a God who supposedly gives us our moral values, and yet sets us up in the Garden of Eden so that our God-given curiosity gives him a good excuse to chuck us out. He then proceeds in a way that would be even the most thieving, scheming, adulterous murderer blush, before coming down to Earth in human form to tell us to stop acting so horribly to one another…

I mean, talk about hypocritical; the God of the Bible could be beaten in a morality contest by every single human being on the planet. Even Hitler would have a hard time losing to such acts of genocide; in fact I’d go as far to say that even if you combined all the immoral actions of humans into one universal immorality score, it would be a fraction of the value the Abrahamic god would get.

Possibly Related Posts:

That Mitchell & Webb Look

Adrian Hayter — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 21:04:48 +0000

A few clips have been going around the internet in the last week, due to the almost radical turn of the new series of “That Mitchell & Webb Look”, a comedy sketch show starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb. The first two seasons were filled with hilarious sketches, but the third has some absolute gems surrounding issues of skepticism, such as this sketch mocking religious zealots and their passion for finding messages in pieces of fruit (or anything else for that matter).

In the same episode, they attacked the pseudoscience of homeopathy with a sketch called “Homeopathic A&E”.

On the subject of David Mitchell, I was rather surprised to find an article he wrote a week ago in the Guardian that spoke out against the “Camp Quest” summer camp for children of atheists. I’m not sure if he has ever stated his religious beliefs, but evidently he doesn’t support the “new atheist” ideals. I wouldn’t suspect him to be a Christian (or even a believer given the content of his shows), so perhaps he’s on the same line as Julian Baggini?

Possibly Related Posts:

Creationism Caption Competition #1 – Results

Adrian Hayter — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:49:21 +0000

Last week I held a competition to find the best caption for a creationist photo.I got plenty of entries, which either means people loved the concept or they didn’t mind having no prize (unless a graffitied copy of Ray Comfort’s latest book counts as a prize). I’m still open to prize suggestions that can fit in with a student budget, and I want to continue this competition as it’s great fun watching people come up with captions for creationists and their silly antics.

Anyway, here are the top 5 best captions as selected by me:

Losing… Grip… On reality!

- Bruce

Just a theory, GRAVITY is just a THEORY!

- Edward

*David Attenborough voice* And here we see the creationist in its natural environment, between a rock and a hard place. We can tell it is of the young earth breed due to the way it reaches, grasping for straws but only clasps thin air…

- BastardSheep

All right, PZ, you win! I will give you that damn iPod Touch!

- James Tracy

Things went from bad to worse when, as the bright light at the end of the tunnel cleared, Eric Hovind saw glorious Valhalla in all its splendor.

- Janus Graydon

So congratulations to Janus Graydon of extheist.net, you have won the first Creationism Caption Competition! Without further ado, here is the caption and photo put together at last:

Things went from bad to worse when, as the bright light at the end of the tunnel cleared, Eric Hovind saw glorious Valhalla in all its splendor.

Keep your eyes peeled for a new caption competition in a few weeks, and feel free to send in suggestions of captionless photos!