The Atheist Blogger

Thanks to a reminder by the Friendly Atheist, I have now pre-ordered my copy of Ariane Sherine’s latest book “The Atheist’s Guide To Christmas”:

Unfortunately, there's probably no Christmas either...

The book comes out in the UK on October 1st, and Brits can pre-order a copy through Amazon (sorry Yanks). Whilst you are there, don’t forget to pre-order a copy of Richard Dawkins new book, “The Greatest Show on Earth” if you haven’t already (what on earth were you waiting for?!?).

Dawkins’ book is of course about Evolution, whilst Ariane’s is a compilation of tips offered by scientists, comedians, authors, etc in order to help you survive the Xmas holiday. All that we have left to wonder about is how many other things we can use that font (and indeed the colour scheme) on before it gets old. Perhaps we could make some un-festive “There’s probably no god” wrapping paper?

Now what are you waiting for? The post is over! Go order the books! Ariane Sherine reported earlier on Twitter that the book was now at the #34 spot on Amazon’s future releases chart. 34??? Methinks that score needs vast improvements! Let’s have it at #1 position by the end of the week; if we did it for the Atheist Bus Campaign, we can do it for a book.

Update: Aparently Ariane reads my blog, and has kindly given me a hi-res image of the book cover. Now you have literally no excuse not to pre-order it!

This is a question posed by the blog “the BEattitude“, which has recently gained over 1,000 well deserved comments on a post concerning losing religion. The author’s personal answer, he says, is very simple:

I expect God to do for me what he did for virtually every Bible character.

In other words, he wants God to show himself, which shouldn’t be a difficult task to fulfill for such a being. He also shows how the Apostle Paul is being hypocritical about telling believers that faith is all you need, as Paul only became a believer after Jesus appeared to him as a blinding light. Are we really expected to have faith in Jesus Christ, when the founder of the Christian church itself could not do the same?

Faith is the most important requirement of any religion, because with faith you cannot distinguish between what cannot be seen and what does not exist. Without faith, your eyes are finally opened to all possibilities, and reason ultimately prevails.

For me, the question has an equally simple answer. I would expect the Bible to be filled with unambiguous, literal, truth.

Any God that is worth worshiping should be able to make sure that their holy book was completely accurate, doesn’t contain contradictions (or ambiguity), and can be read and understood by anyone. It doesn’t take much effort (for an omnipotent being) to correct the scribe who makes a copying error, or to protect the books from damage as believers are persecuted, or to write everything as literal fact that cannot be observed in nature.

This is what any rational person would demand of any other claim, so why can’t it be done for religion? The pseudoscience of homeopathy is less ambiguous than current interpretations of the Bible, yet more people reject the former. It is clear to anyone that the Bible is not true, and yet instead of giving up on Christianity, the believers can do nothing but lie and make excuses about the mistakes.

In the scientific community, when you are reduced to this level of dishonesty, your reputation is destroyed. In the religious community, you are held as a warrior for faith. I don’t know about yourself, but my mother taught me to never trust people who lied or made excuses for their mistakes. It seems only the scientific community has taken this to heart.

How about you? What would it take for YOU to believe in God?

(via theBEattitude)

Now that Cassie from Teen Skepchick has written about this subject, I ought to post something as well about the church I helped to form. It all started with a Jaffa Cake fixation, shared by skype friends including myself, Lucia, and Andrew Milne. Numerous times we phoned up the McVities Careline, trying to talk to someone about the awesomeness of McVities Jaffa Cakes, but each time they hung up on us. So we decided to turn to Twitter, only to discover that someone had already beaten us to it.

C. Margery Kempe, a writer of romantic erotica, had already posted using the #JaffaCakes hashtag, the first person on Twitter to do so:

dreams of Jaffa Cakes and convinces herself to get back to work and stop thinking about Jaffa Cakes #JaffaCakes

Immediately we named her our prophet, and the Church of the Smashing Orangey Bit was born. Ever since then, we have spread the word of the church through Twitter hashtags (#JaffaCakes), bringing more people under our fold, with promises of a revolutionary new church (the most progressive out there today). We also formed a facebook group, and started translating our holy book (the Jaffable) into English. All members of the church (Jaffalots) believe in the power of Jaffacakeology, which central tenets include:

• We believe in the one true McVities, accept no substitutes.
• We believe that @cmkempe is our prophet, delivered to us by McVities to provide romantic erotica.
• We believe that Jaffa Cakes are the most delicious snack.
• We believe that all people of every creed (except Norwegians), color, gender, and sexual orientation go to Heaven, but only those who accept Jaffa Cakes as their Lord and Saviour go to the Land of the Eternal Jaffa, a kind of super Heaven that has a water slide.
• We believe that in stark contradiction to the above, if you are a really naughty person you will suffer for all eternity in Norway.

So don’t be a fool! Accept Jaffa Cakes as your Lord and Saviour today! To join the church you only need to say our prayer of acceptance:

Lord McVities, I have sinned against You and Your smashing orangey creation. I repent my sins. I ask You to come into my mouth and wash me with Your smashing orangey bits. I make Jaffa Cakes my Lord and Savior.

Oh Lord McVities, You are now more than my God; You’re my smashing orangey Father and I’m going to serve You all the days of my life. Jaffa Cakes are Lord.

JaffAmen.

Once you have said this, your sins will be forgiven, and you will live forever in Jaffa Cake heaven. Both atheists and theists are welcome, as long as you accept McVities as Lord, and Jaffa Cakes as both Lord and Saviour. Norwegians are banned from the church, since they are an abomination in the eyes of McVities. Similarly, the church has decreed a Jafwa (holy war) upon the so-called “Pastafarians” for idol worship and the heretical belief that pasta is somehow tastier than Jaffa Cakes.

It’s been 7 years, and I still cannot believe they canceled Firefly. Every now and then I stumble upon a great clip from the show (of which there are an incredible number given the short run it had) and it makes me angry that this show isn’t picked up again. God is Pretend recently included a great clip of River Tam (my favourite character by far) “fixing” the Bible:

Book: What are we up to, sweetheart?

River: Fixing your Bible.

Book: I, um… What?

[Pan over to River, who works on a book with pens, brushes, and loose pages.]

River: Bible’s broken. Contradictions, false logistics… doesn’t make sense.

Book: No, no. You -- you can’t…

River: So we’ll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God’s creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah’s ark is a problem.

Book: Really?

River: We’ll have to call it “early quantum state phenomenon”. Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.

. . .

Book: River, you don’t… fix the Bible.

River: It’s broken. It doesn’t make sense.

Book: It’s not about… making sense. It’s about believing in something. And letting that belief be real enough to change your life. It’s about faith. You don’t fix faith, River. It fixes you.

Oh River, you taught us so much; like how “the human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems“. If you haven’t watched Firefly, then go watch it on Hulu, or buy the DVD. If you simply don’t have the time, then the Wikiquotes article should give you a few laughs.

An Icon of Freedom of Speech

It’s no wonder so many websites attack atheism, and why an increasing number of newspapers seems to be doing the same thing; we’re probably one of the easiest targets out there. We’re a minority group in most countries in the world, but not only that, we are actively challenging the view of the majority group. In comparative terms, we’re like the British National Party (BNP) in the UK elections. The BNP are a fascist, right-wing, white supremacist political movement which has gathered together the last surviving members of Britain’s racists. They are a small minority, yet they are often one of the loudest; campaigning against every single other party, blaming them for the current state of the government. Unlike other targets that one could attack such as those of a certain race or sex, we don’t have any anti-discrimination laws to protect us, and for very good reasons, we have campaigned against such laws (the ones that would protect us) under the banner of freedom of speech. We don’t want our governments saying that people cannot write hateful things about us, because the whole point about the atheism debate is that there can be a debate.

Freedom of speech is often attacked by the religious, who claim that atheists use it to blaspheme and campaign against their beliefs, even though they are fine when they do the same to us. The point of freedom of speech is that anyone can say anything about politics, religion, art, etc and have their view protected so that others can hear it. The people who agree will state their approval, and the people who disagree or find it offensive in any way can have their say as well, and their response will likewise be protected.

It is this freedom of speech that I execute when I respond to the newspaper articles which lie and misrepresent us. I don’t want the articles to be censored, but I want my right to a fair response. The execution of this right was most recently seen when a Op-Ed piece, penned by Charlotte Allen was published in the LA Times (and then republished yesterday in the Guardian) and spread around the blogosphere. I doubt very many atheists would have wanted Allen’s piece obliterated from the newspaper (shame on you if you did), but the sheer amount of responses it generated from both sides of the debate show the level of disagreement. If you want to read a thorough, well-written objection to Allen’s article, then head over to Shane Croucher’s blog.

I’m sure Allen will put this response down to “whining” as she did in the article and won’t even realize the hypocrisy of her writing, which one could argue is a lot of whining about atheists. I’m sure she’ll continue to criticize us for using freedom of speech to attack religion or belief in god, whilst at the same time using the very same freedom of speech to attack our views. Hers is the one-sided argument; she wants nothing but her views to be made, and she will ignore all objections or file them under the title of “whining”. We’ve seen this kind of behaviour before in so many forms, and if one thing holds true in each of those cases, it is that in the long run, people like Charlotte Allen always lose out eventually.

Opinions will be heard, debate will be had. Long live freedom of speech.