In this sense, taking a wafer without eating it is apparently equal to the crime of kidnapping Jesus himself. For atheists, this claim is completely ridiculous and illogical; not so much because there is no way of proving any of this transubstantiating actually happens, but because by their own logic, Catholics (and other denominations which subscribe to the process) are partaking in ritual cannibalism of their Saviour.

The whole debacle got me thinking about churches in England, and I found that my “local” cathedral followed a rare doctrine introduced by one of it’s early bishops to unite both Catholics and Prostestants on the issue of transubstantiation. As such, they adhere to the doctrine that the wafer and wine literally become the body and blood, but can only be “grasped by faith”. I decided to mimic the student in America, go to church for the first time in 10 years, and take Jesus’ body home with me.

When I first announced my plan, some people said it was disrespectful of faith and I would be violating someone else’s freedom of expression in order to fulfil my own. Such an idea was not the case, and it was if I had planned to run up to the alter and grab a handful. In my defense, I will tell you exactly how the morning went.

8:30am – Arrived at Salisbury Cathedral. I had a bit of shopping to do before the service, and I was meeting a friend for a coffee.

9:45am – Met up with friend in Cafe Nero and discussed issues of morality, the U.S elections, gay marriage, and Evolution. My friend is a Christian and we differ on pretty much all of those points.

11:05am – Walked into Salisbury Cathedral and found the Morning Chapel where the service would be held.

11:15am – Service starts. I stayed at the back with the prayer book, and said every word in unison with everyone else.

11:30am – I went up to the front and knelt between two elderly people. The wafer was placed in my cupped hands. I raised them to my mouth, and palmed the wafer. I then drank Jesus’ “blood”.

11:40am – Service ends. On my way out  a foreign man who was attending the service turned out to be a Bishop from a Latin American country (I didn’t hear which). He talked to the priest for a few minutes before noticing I was standing there waiting to get out. He let me pass, and on the way I shook the priest’s hand and thanked her for the service.

In my eyes, I was respectful of their traditions and faith. I joined in with the entire process except for one part, and didn’t interrupt or cause a scene. If what I did was “disrespectful” to the people there, then the whole issue of respect has to be rethought.

Anyway, I got home and took a photo of the wafer, another with my thumbnail for scale, and a final one with me holding the wafer. Since I was on my own I didn’t have anyone to take the last picture for me, so it’s probably a bit blurry due to it being on a timer and not set properly. If my memory serves me correctly, this is the first time I’ve put a photo of myself up (not counting the tiny one in the comments). Facebook friends can view all my photos of university life, which includes dressing up, makeup, and general drunken partying.

I’m still thinking of things to do with the wafer but some interesting things have been suggested so far, so keep them coming!

Enjoy!

Possibly Related Posts:

• Taking The Church Hostage
• Jesus Is A Gender-tolerant Sexist And A Homophobic Homophilic
• The Cathedral Of My Lost Faith
• (Almost) Daily Dose of Comfort – Interview with Darrin Rasberry
• On Debating Christians

So much for freedom of expression, but I tell you what, it’s given me an idea.

I’m ofiicially going to be the first English copycat. I’m going back to church for the first time in 10 years, and I’m going to steal a wafer. To top the American student Webster Cook, I’m going to steal the wafer from one of the most famous cathedrals in England. No, not St Pauls, but Salisbury Cathedral. It’s a medieval cathedral that’s celebrating its 750th year this year, and it has the tallest spire in England. It’s a mega tourist attraction.

The schedule for events can be found at their website.

Regretfully I cannot do this today (Wednesday), but I am in town on Thursday, and I will be attending the late morning Holy Communion at 11:15. I will go to the Morning Chapel, attend the full service, receive communion and pocket it.

I will then drive home and hold the wafer hostage, possibly with a plastic toy gun. Heck, I might as well devise some rudimentary torture rack for it. Assuming the plan goes off without a hitch, I’ll be taking photos of the hostage attempt and upload them here.

What I’d like are a few ideas for what to do to the hostage. What kinds of pictures should I do? Should I buy a balaclava or reveal my identity? Should I call the church with ransom demands? Dare I send word to the Catholic league? Hemant Mehta sold his soul on eBay, should I sell my hostage?

Seriously, I’m open to any ideas at this point.

Possibly Related Posts:

• I Kidnapped Jesus
• Jesus Is A Gender-tolerant Sexist And A Homophobic Homophilic
• (Almost) Daily Dose of Comfort – Interview with Darrin Rasberry
• On Debating Christians
• Jesus Week