Taking The Church Hostage

Adrian Hayter — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 01:59:42 +0000

Pharyngula reports that a student walked into a Catholic Mass and walked out with the small bread wafer that represents Christ. Apparently the Catholic world is outraged, saying he took the poor piece of bread hostage. It’s been called a hate crime, the student has been sent death threats, and Bill Donahue from the Catholic League says the student should be expelled.

So much for freedom of expression, but I tell you what, it’s given me an idea.

I’m ofiicially going to be the first English copycat. I’m going back to church for the first time in 10 years, and I’m going to steal a wafer. To top the American student Webster Cook, I’m going to steal the wafer from one of the most famous cathedrals in England. No, not St Pauls, but Salisbury Cathedral. It’s a medieval cathedral that’s celebrating its 750th year this year, and it has the tallest spire in England. It’s a mega tourist attraction.

The schedule for events can be found at their website.

Regretfully I cannot do this today (Wednesday), but I am in town on Thursday, and I will be attending the late morning Holy Communion at 11:15. I will go to the Morning Chapel, attend the full service, receive communion and pocket it.

I will then drive home and hold the wafer hostage, possibly with a plastic toy gun. Heck, I might as well devise some rudimentary torture rack for it. Assuming the plan goes off without a hitch, I’ll be taking photos of the hostage attempt and upload them here.

What I’d like are a few ideas for what to do to the hostage. What kinds of pictures should I do? Should I buy a balaclava or reveal my identity? Should I call the church with ransom demands? Dare I send word to the Catholic league? Hemant Mehta sold his soul on eBay, should I sell my hostage?

Seriously, I’m open to any ideas at this point.

The Atheist Blogger » hostage

Taking The Church Hostage

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