A Fundamentalist Christian Answers The Atheist Thirteen
I’ve read a few of the current “Atheist Thirteen” meme posts that are going around, and that got me thinking. What would a fundamentalist Christian say if they had to answer the questions? Probably something like this:
Q1. How would you define “atheism”?
Satanism, devil-worship, false, Godless, infidels, idiotic, Hell-bound, unethical, evil…there are many words I could use. Atheists are evil wicked people with no morals who deserve Hell more than any murderer or rapist!
Q2. Was your upbringing religious? If so, what tradition?
Naturally. I was born a Baptist Christian and still follow our Lord Jesus Christ today. As a child I attended church every Sunday, and as I grew older I was born again and began to participate in church events, regularly attending services mid-week and at the weekends.
Q3. How would you describe “Intelligent Design”, using only one word?
Truth
Q4. What scientific endeavour really excites you?
As obvious in the previous question, Intelligent Design! It proves once and for all that Darwin and his followers are all trying to spread their wickedness and evil lies about Evilution. Only the truth will conquer their sham “science”!
Q5. If you could change one thing about the “atheist community”, what would it be and why?
There isn’t an Atheist community. My country is a Christian nation! The only communities are God’s communities. If any Atheists ever gather together God will smite them down for their evil, wicked, and sinful ways.
Q6. If your child came up to you and said “I’m joining the clergy”, what would be your first response?
I would thank the good Lord for blessing me with a child who is willing to do His work and fight the ways of evil.
Q7. What’s your favorite theistic argument, and how do you usually refute it?
I can’t refute the irrefutable. Look around at nature, the universe, everything. Does it look random to you? Does it look like everything is the result of chance or coincidence? No. Everything works in harmony and perfectly because it was made by a loving, caring, perfect God. Anyone who can’t see the beauty of the Lord’s work is a fool and will suffer for eternity in Hell.
Q8. What’s your most “controversial” viewpoint?
I have no controversial viewpoints, for my viewpoints are all Christian and they are the teachings of God. No government can dictate against the laws of God, and Jesus Christ will return and destroy the evil secularism, sending its followers to Hell.
Q9. Of the “Four Horsemen” (Dawkins, Dennett, Hitchens and Harris) who is your favourite, and why?
Dawkins. His false book “The God Delusion” has converted many over to the way of Christ with its impossible arguments and evil doctrine. Having converted many people won’t save him from the lakes of fire and Satan though.
Q10. If you could convince just one theistic person to abandon their beliefs, who would it be?
Any believer in a false God. Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Sikhs, etc will all suffer in Hell for eternity for their wrong and evil beliefs. I would make them abandon these false Gods and worship Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
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There are some people who think exactly like your post, and fortunately they are a tiny minority.
Oliver
24 Jun 08 at 2:23 pm (GMT)
Urgh… I feel defiled!
nullifidian
24 Jun 08 at 3:45 pm (GMT)
OMG- is this a joke? It’s just so silly. I just don’t understand how people can believe this nonsense.
Lisa
24 Jun 08 at 8:28 pm (GMT)
Lisa,
This is partly a joke, partly an accurate response based on my own experience as a Christian and through conversations with fundamentalists.
I have no doubt that an actual fundie would respond with similar answers if given these questions, although I doubt they would ever actually agree to answer them anyway :P
Adrian Hayter
24 Jun 08 at 10:19 pm (GMT)
I did come across a christian on a WOW blog that attempted to answer the meme.
Sean the Blogonaut
25 Jun 08 at 3:53 am (GMT)
so true
Oz Atheist
25 Jun 08 at 4:26 am (GMT)
I was born a Baptist Christian
Shouldn’t that read “I was born again a Baptist Christian”?
AV
25 Jun 08 at 2:44 pm (GMT)
AV,
The character I was going for was born into a Baptist family, but I’ve added the term “born again” later on :)
Adrian Hayter
25 Jun 08 at 3:03 pm (GMT)
Whoops . . . my bad.
AV
26 Jun 08 at 4:41 am (GMT)
While I agree with the answers, the title of this post was misleading. I was expecting to see a response from an actual Christian.
The post should be titled, “How I think a fundamentalist Christian would answer The Atheist Thirteen.”
tedrick
26 Jun 08 at 8:48 pm (GMT)
tedrick,
1) That title is too long.
2) That title wouldn’t get as many visitors.
3) Who cares what the title is, it’s the content of the article people should be worried about.
I made it very clear in the first paragraph that it wasn’t a Christian answering it but an ex-Christian. I still understand how I used to think so it’s not like I am just pulling these answers out of thin air. I changed the character to that of an American Baptist but that was all.
Adrian Hayter
26 Jun 08 at 8:53 pm (GMT)
Well, I’m not a fundamentalist, at least don’t consider myself so, but I am a theist. I’ll give you my honest answers to the questions…
Q1. How would you define “atheism”?
Not believing in God.
Q2. Was your upbringing religious? If so, what tradition?
Yes. Catholic. Attended a parochial, attended church services daily and on Sunday.
Q3. How would you describe “Intelligent Design”, using only one word?
Actually, the first thing that comes to mind is web design so I’d say “usability”. I kinda doubt this was what the question was after but it was the first thing that came mind.
Q4. What scientific endeavour really excites you?
Nanotechnology. Not to long ago I saw a report, 60 Minutes I think, where a gentleman with no medical background discovered how radio waves could potially be used to kill cancer cells without damaging any surrounding tissue using nanites. From clothing to medicine nanite are cool critters!
Q5. If you could change one thing about the “atheist community”, what would it be and why?
Tough question since I don’t know enough about the “community” to give an intelligent answer. But if I had to give one, it would be the same as I might suggest for any other community… tolerance. I think everyone can learn to be more tolerant on something.
Q6. If your child came up to you and said “I’m joining the clergy”, what would be your first response?
I think my immediate response would be why. As a parent I’d think I’d want to know that they were certain and/or committed about whatever it was they wanted to pursue.
Q7. What’s your favorite theistic argument, and how do you usually refute it?
Whenever an “argument” centers around religion or lack thereof, folks are welcome to believe what they like as am I. I can’t say I really see a reason to refute it.
Q8. What’s your most “controversial” viewpoint?
The World Series bound Cubs are the best baseball team in Chicago. :)
If you lived in Chicago you’d understand.
Q9. Of the “Four Horsemen” (Dawkins, Dennett, Hitchens and Harris) who is your favourite, and why?
Sorry, don’t know who they are.
Q10. If you could convince just one theistic person to abandon their beliefs, who would it be?
I wouldn’t. As I answered in an earlier question, folks are welcome to believe what they wish as am I.
DaveS
27 Jun 08 at 9:00 pm (GMT)
It occurs to me that being raised in a fundamentalist Christian environment is the fastest way to drive an intelligent person (in other words: a person who isn’t willing to swallow whatever they’re spoon-fed without questioning it first) away from God and Christianity in general.
There are, however, many different ways to interpret the Bible, and many of the misogynistic statements (and other things, like the parts that say not to get tattoos and braid your hair) have to be interpretted in the context of the culture. There are cultural norms encouraged by the prophets and writers of the Bible themselves, and there are rules and laws that are actually good things to do (Love thy neighbor as thyself, do unto others, Thou shalt not kill, etc). The tricky thing is to sort out things that are a matter of culture and those that are a matter of religious belief.
Of course, how you reconcile cultural misunderstandings with the idea that a book written by human beings is the infallible Word of God, I don’t know. It might be time for most Christians (myself included) to re-examine that belief.
TheRaisinGirl
17 Jul 08 at 9:28 pm (GMT)
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