Heaven: The Game
So there is a new PC game coming out called “Heaven: The Game“, made by a company called Genesis Works. It features a fully explorable version of Heaven, complete with angels, gold lined streets, and even Jesus! The website for the game (which I linked to above) is entirely flash based, and although that alone makes me want to throw my laptop across the room, the content is really even worse. Seriously, if these guys really wanted to please the Lord, how about buying a spell checker? There are spelling errors on literally each page of the site.
The game features list is ridiculous though, because it contains a load of useless references to pretty common game standards:
Animated lens flares!!!! OMG!
360 degree panning world with stereo sound? Yeah, that’s in pretty much any game with a 3D world these days. The next 3 points are all about video animation, and thus are all simply padding for the list. A “game feature” has nothing to do with how cut scenes are shown (at least in my opinion).
No idea how their 3D menu interface is unique, but it doesn’t need mentioning unless it’s as awesome as the implementation in Sauerbraten.
Animated lens flares? Seriously??? Personally, I find lens flares very annoying in video games unless you have a very good reason for them. If your character has a visor, then sure, it adds to the realism. I have no idea why anyone would be wearing a visor in Heaven though, unless you are a Christian astronaut that died whilst on a mission. Of course, that also means that when you die you don’t get to change clothes. Christian Top Tip: Wear something casual when you die…you’re stuck in it forever remember!
Same thing applies to “animated game cursors” really. It’s just not a game feature. Powerful Biblical content is though, and I reckon there could be a heck of a lot of that. The game features list really doesn’t tell me anything about the actual game, only that it has a explorable world based on Biblical heaven, and you have to complete several levels (who reckons most of them involve worshiping the almighty?).
Did anyone spot the 5 spelling errors? Answers revealed when you click the button below (JavaScript needed):
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Oh, yes! Found my new favorite response when someone asks if I know what’s waiting for me “on the other side” … animated lens flares!! Heh. That’s perfect.
Sweet! Heaven has babes! I wonder if you’re allowed to touch them though?
In any case, christian leaders should advertise those babes more. Islam gets loads of sales with the 70 virgins per person.
I dare say this it looks fun
I want to go to heaven to meet all the big breasted white women.
Seems silly to have a game called heaven. Maybe it's to counteract atheisim. I will never understand atheism. Everyone has the choice to decide for themselves though. Nothing comes from nothing.
There is a heaven and a hell. Do you want to spend eternity in the smoking or non- smoking section?? I think maybe Hitler and those natzies are in the smoking section! Maybe they are experiencing what they inflicted upon those millions of poor people!
Do you have any proof to back up your assertions of heaven and hell?
Why even bother asking…
I think their non-response says pages about their assertion. :P
The game seems to be out now. I hope to get a look at it pretty soon. Sounds like epic fun. :)