Creationism Caption Competition #1
In my random stumbling around on the internet, I found a bunch of creationist websites that contained photos of various creationists as part of some kind of “about our team” page. Now some of these pictures are just plain and boring, but there are a few that simply cry out for a funny caption. So I’ve decided to create a caption competition in order to correct this massive lack of creationist captions, and here is the first picture.
So dear reader, what exactly is Eric Hovind reaching for? Why does he have a look of terror on his cute creationist face? Why is he clinging to that rock so desperately? The answer to those questions is up to you.
Now onto the issue of a prize. As a student I generally don’t have any money, which means I cannot promise a prize, although I do have an extra signed copy of Ray Comfort’s latest masterpiece “You can lead an atheist to evidence, but you can’t make him think”. To be quite honest, such a book would be better off as a booby prize instead, but it is all I can offer at the moment. Perhaps I could get some cheap badges made, I’m open to suggestions.
So really, it’s a double competition now: Whoever comes up with the best caption and a great idea for some cheap (but cool) prizes will win…er…one of the prizes (and a copy of Ray’s book that I will sign / doodle in). You have a week to do so; off you go!
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Creationist reaches for His Noodly Appendage to save him from fall off cliff
jesus christ-! Help me-!
Just a theory, GRAVITY is just a THEORY!
*David Attenborough voice* And here we see the creationist in its natural environment, between a rock and a hard place. We can tell it is of the young earth breed due to the way it reaches, grasping for straws but only clasps thin air …
"Oh man, I think that curry last nigh…. AHHHHH! Quick pass me the bogroll!"
Hey-! You're driking my beer-!
This one would get my vote…
(1) "And the camera man replied: Sorry, Eric, but I believe in the survival of the fittest."
(2) "All right, PZ, you win! I will give you that damn iPod Touch!"
Thank goodness these rovks were so intelligently designed! other wise I wouldn't be able to ah ah AHHHHHHHHH
Thank goodness these rocks were so intelligently designed! other wise I wouldn't be able to woah ah AHHHHHHHHH
Oh my god, it's a FOSSIL!!!!!!
This one would get my vote… :)
THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA!! IT'S RIGHT BEHIND ME!!
Losing… Grip… On reality!
If I'm wrong . . . then when I hit those rocks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . OH SHIT!!!
WHY GOD? WHY HAVE YOU GROWN A TREE OUT OF MY HEAD?!
Hey I have limited minutes on my phone and you are going to use them up. Give me my phone.
"And IIIIII, will aaalways loove yooooouu!"
I've changed my mind – this one (number 2)!
"Guardian Angel my ass… SOMEBODY CALL 911!"
That gets my vote too.
Quick, Kirk Cameron, throw me a banana!
Knowing me, knowing you. Aha!!!!
"I'm grasping at straws again"
Only GOD could make something good for both climbing rocks and pulling puds. Let me touch yours, you'll see, damn you!
NOOOOOOOO MY RELIGION!!!!!
and i would definitely go for the ray comfort book :)
He was……this…..close………to finally touching a vagina.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
hilarious
If you don't send money, God will throw me off this cliff! Send Money!
Things went from bad to worse when, as the bright light at the end of the tunnel cleared, Eric Hovind saw glorious Valhalla in all its splendor.
Bigfoot has my leg!!! Damn you, Darwin!!!
I need a clue!! Would someone please throw me a clue?!?!?
Dammit, they were right – it is a giant FSM – HELP!!!!
I would settle for some of your doodles actually – in the book. I like reading the idiotic mutterings of people who don't know what the light looks like. It's a great prize – be sure to doodle all over the bits you thought were funny though.
Here's my suggestion for the caption; Can't find…big enough gap…for god!
As for a prize for the winner, how about a free 'De-baptism certificate'?
I know I said God never gives us more than we can handle. I take it back!
In true motivational poster meme style:
"Religion:
God made everything. Of course he can save you from falling off that cliff. Just hold out your hand and pray really hard."
OR
"God:
Sorry, he's too busy planning the rapture. You'll have to save yourself."
Oh Dawkins, Why hast thou forsaken me….
Adam, hurry, Eve is after my body…